For those of you who aren't racing (the first rule of Super Secret Bike Commuter Race is you don't talk about Super Secret Bike Commuter Race), here is a calculator for determining your score as you're riding along.
Here are the British rules:
The Game
Dropping / Pulling anyone higher in the Food Chain Number makes you stronger and more attractive to burds. Getting dropped / trying to keep up with anyone lower means your soul hires a kudos remover to lower your self worth. If you scalp someone you have to maintain or extend your lead for such a time as to have the dude you passed admit to themself "I was done". Nipping by, then running into a side road / hiding in traffic won't wash, Be honest with yourself. Not strictly true
Rules:
1/ No Dangerous Manoeuvres (Don’t be a danger to any other road users or yourself) Falling off causes pain to you and others around you, don’t do it! (oh and you loose yer points)
2/ Don’t ride like a c0ck, we’re all just trying to get somewhere!
3/ No passing at Lights/Junction/Crossings, if you do, it doesn’t count
4/ All passing on open road ONLY. Filtering in traffic is null and void (you know whether you’ve dropped someone fairly, and haven’t turned off straight afterwards)
5/ Pavement passes, either you or the target is void
6/ Show no pain, unless, like me your face is just like that
FOOD CHAIN NUMBERS:
1. Scooters
2. Roadies with shaved legs - like girls
3. Proper rapid Single speed (real men, messengers, tarty shiny fixies)
4. Roadies with hairy legs - like men
5. Faux Single Speeds (fakengers, dirty/functional bikes, silly egg beater gear)
6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards)
7. "Fast Hybrids"
8. MTBs on Skinnies
9. MTBs on Nobbies
10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on Nobbies
12. Shoppers
13. Shoppers wicker baskets
14. Electric bikes
- Pedal Adjustment +1
• ONLY FCN 2-5 gain points for overtaking the same FCN and Higher Chainers
• Recumbents, Tandems and Segways are worth +2 points as a rare bonus
• Sinclair C5 +20 points as a hens teeth bonus
FCN Adjusters:
CLOTHING:
None:+3
Non-Cycling: +2
Baggies: +1
Lycra: 0
Team Kit: -1
TDF Jersey: -2
BAGGAGE:
Panniers: +1
Back Pack/Courier: 0
Nothing: -1
HEAD GEAR:
Face Mask +1
Helmets/Nothing/Sunglasses: 0
Bike Caps / Wrap arounds: -1
ACCESSORIES:
Herman's Safety Wing" (orange plastic lolly-pop): +2
Trailer:+2
Beard: +1
Child seat (each): +1
Power meter: -1
Aerobars: -1
Coloured tyres -1
PEDALS (If you can identify) FCN2-8 see note above:
Flats: +1
Toe Clips: 0
Evidently Clipless/spds (cycling shoes): -1