Notes From James
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It's not a race   James - 

For those of you who aren't racing (the first rule of Super Secret Bike Commuter Race is you don't talk about Super Secret Bike Commuter Race), here is a calculator for determining your score as you're riding along.

Here are the British rules:

The Game

Dropping / Pulling anyone higher in the Food Chain Number makes you stronger and more attractive to burds. Getting dropped / trying to keep up with anyone lower means your soul hires a kudos remover to lower your self worth. If you scalp someone you have to maintain or extend your lead for such a time as to have the dude you passed admit to themself "I was done". Nipping by, then running into a side road / hiding in traffic won't wash, Be honest with yourself. Not strictly true


1/ No Dangerous Manoeuvres (Don’t be a danger to any other road users or yourself) Falling off causes pain to you and others around you, don’t do it! (oh and you loose yer points)

2/ Don’t ride like a c0ck, we’re all just trying to get somewhere!

3/ No passing at Lights/Junction/Crossings, if you do, it doesn’t count

4/ All passing on open road ONLY. Filtering in traffic is null and void (you know whether you’ve dropped someone fairly, and haven’t turned off straight afterwards)

5/ Pavement passes, either you or the target is void

6/ Show no pain, unless, like me your face is just like that


1. Scooters

2. Roadies with shaved legs - like girls

3. Proper rapid Single speed (real men, messengers, tarty shiny fixies)

4. Roadies with hairy legs - like men

5. Faux Single Speeds (fakengers, dirty/functional bikes, silly egg beater gear)

6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards)

7. "Fast Hybrids"

8. MTBs on Skinnies

9. MTBs on Nobbies

10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes

11. MTB full sus on Nobbies

12. Shoppers

13. Shoppers wicker baskets

14. Electric bikes

  • Pedal Adjustment +1

• ONLY FCN 2-5 gain points for overtaking the same FCN and Higher Chainers

• Recumbents, Tandems and Segways are worth +2 points as a rare bonus

• Sinclair C5 +20 points as a hens teeth bonus

FCN Adjusters:



Non-Cycling: +2

Baggies: +1

Lycra: 0

Team Kit: -1

TDF Jersey: -2


Panniers: +1

Back Pack/Courier: 0

Nothing: -1


Face Mask +1

Helmets/Nothing/Sunglasses: 0

Bike Caps / Wrap arounds: -1


Herman's Safety Wing" (orange plastic lolly-pop): +2


Beard: +1

Child seat (each): +1

Power meter: -1

Aerobars: -1

Coloured tyres -1

PEDALS (If you can identify) FCN2-8 see note above:

Flats: +1

Toe Clips: 0

Evidently Clipless/spds (cycling shoes): -1

[Tinted Windows]  [1550 Miles]