Hello,

I just moved to my first apartment, not counting living in a dorm room of course. It has been one of the most exciting and stressful times in my life.

So, first packing. I have a lot of clothes and plushies, I mean a lot. I can easily take up multiple closets.

I had packed mostly everything and relocated it into my two-bedroom apartment which I share with my fiancé and our newly adopted cats. Though I have left plenty of space for him though he has half the number of things as I have.

I do have a bin in the closet for me specifically to set aside things to get rid of in order for me to keep track of things. I swap clothes with a friend often, so it keeps me generally at the same number of items while changing up things. He has never said that I have too many things, so this is all my idea which I have been working on for the past three years.

The first few nights Simba has been crying and messing around with the blinds, which has triggered my panic attacks and frustrated me, though she is getting a lot better. Kimba and I have been becoming good friends, she is learning to be comfortable with being picked up. It has been difficult being away from Beck, my childhood pet as well as Chessie and Nessie who my parents and I adopted from a patient from my old job.

We set up a study room, and we have the Xbox 360 and his laptop and my desktop all set up in there. He bought me a standing desk on Prime Day so I could have somewhere to keep everything. I've always wanted one since my brother built me my desktop, so it has really worked out. I don't have a desk chair, but if I really needed one, I could just borrow his.

In our living room we have a hammock stand which can hold two people in it along with a table to eat at. His grandparents are giving us their old love seat so eventually that will be in our living room as well. I don't plan on having a TV in there just because I like just reading or we could watch something on our laptops.

I don't usually watch TV but I just got Crunchyroll premium so I will most likely be watching Demon Slayer after my friend took me to see the new movie.

We have been cooking a lot together just because it's cheap and that I like going to Aldi's (Aldi's nutz) for seasonal foods as well as my mum and I's trek to Cleveland to go to Trader Joe's. Which we just went to in order to get some Pumpkin ravioli, spicy chai tea latte mix and the Halloween mini tote bags which I am most likely just going to keep with my bag collection.

It's very relaxing there since I don't have everything crammed into my bedroom and that we have spots for everything, like toiletries and snacks. I am better able to catalog everything, but a few things have gone missing which has been mildly frusturating, but it's replaceable things so it's not a huge deal.

I hope him and I will continue to have tons of fun, I already feel more relaxed, though we have too many tiny hotel soaps which they stopped giving out because they have replaced those with the big bottles that are locked or dispensers. So that just tells you how old this stuff is. So the plan is using up all that before going into the big bottles we have.

I'll give more updates on how we're settling, luckily my brother and best friend being software majors they have been very helpful setting everything up.

I am just a business student who eats crayons.

-Uggledamen

Hello,

Bullying should never be tolerated whether that is in school or work.

I am very exhausted, it feels like I have to hold my breath no matter where I go. Like I was told that in highschool I would find my people, in collage I will be accepted, in work I would be a favorite.

I was excluded in social activities since I started school, I was always the one chosen last, the one that would never be clapped for at the end of a presentation or invited to birthday parties.

This forever shaped me. I thought, something has to be wrong with me, am I not white enough, should I dye my hair, should I wear different clothes.

I hit puberty at the age of nine and looked older than everyone else and had a large chest compared to the others and I felt insecure about being picked on by teacher when wearing age-appropriate clothes because my chest showed and so I wore very baggy clothes to hide it.

In middle school I looked my age, and I would always hangout with my teachers because people spread rumors about me and excluded me at lunch. I would eat my lunch in the classroom.

In high school I was excluded again and would hide in different rooms and have anxiety attacks because I was so afraid of being noticed because then someone would tell other people about me.

In freshman year of collage someone told my friend group that I was sexually permicuous because her crush liked me more than her.

That extended to my work environment, and I dropped out of collage because I didn't feel comfortable being around people all the time. Which was the best decision I have ever made at the time.

This isn't supposed to be a sob story or feel bad for me. But when my professor wrung me out in class because I accidentally put something wrong in my calculator. I just snapped. When will it end, when will I finally be safe.

I literally don't know what to do. I want to isolate myself because I feel like this is never going to end. I only feel safe with my fiancé.

I wish people could be more understanding and care about other people.

I understand that they don't know I have severe depression and am in physical pain from my mental state. But, as a instructor you should very well understand that there's a chance that you could really push someone over the edge.

My calculus professor was so kind and understanding and I got a ton of stuff wrong, but I passed with a A- because I participated. And for that he gave me hope.

I don't know, maybe it's tough teaching but with the mounting experiences of knowing I will never be enough in society makes me want to withdraw from society as a whole.

Hopefully that will change but take this as a warning before you harass a service employee or make fun of someone's personal style or behavior.

We as social animals are fragile and need care.

-Uggledamen

Hello,

Lately I haven't been in the best emotional state, though I am fortunate to have a great support system with my parents, in-laws, Fiancé, and medical doctors.

Though I have been learning to live my life a little bit more for myself, so I have been getting a lot of "sweet treats".

A sweet treat or little treat is usually some sort of coffee or dessert that you get yourself as a reward for doing something difficult.

For me, depression can really drag me under. I often will get an all or nothing type mindset which skews towards the most negative thing. This can make it really difficult to do simple things like getting out of bed, cleaning up after myself and even studying.

Lately to motivate myself I have been getting treats to have something to look forward to.

A lot of people on the internet tend to bully people who do this type of thing, because of it being a "waste of money" or can "escalate into more expensive purchases".

This can be true, but for some people, like me, it makes us have something small to look forward to. I don't typically spend a lot on material items or take out coffee, but once in a while I do because it makes me realize that life isn't all bad.

My depression can make things very intense and feels like a ball and chain attached to my ankle. It also makes me not be able to see colors well and slows my cognitive abilities. It makes me unable to comprehend something that is given to me, like a math problem, I need to look over it and I can't answer a question about it immediately. Which frusturates my professors since I get things wrong a lot more than when I am high functioning.

Though, when I get my apartment, I will hopefully have a coffee bar so we can make our own coffee instead of going out, but for now it gives me something to look forward to.

Life has been intense with the loss of my grandmother in law who was important to me, though I didn't get much of an opportunity to know her personally. It caused my depression to become unmanageable, though I did make a plan with my doctor to build myself some stability by making a schedule of when to study, downtime and work.

For now, the sweet treat has made me feel better. Though it doesn't mask my depression for long, I will at least have something to look forward to next week as well.

If you have any symptoms of depression and or thoughts of self-harm please text or call 988, the US suicide hotline, they are amazing over there and have helped me time after time.

-Uggledamen

side note: We have adopted his grandmother's cats as well, their names are Kimba and Simba. They are currently adjusting to their new surroundings.

Hello,

Grief is a strange thing, It's missing someone that you know will never be about to write back, make new memories with.

Though the one thing is that you know that they are no longer suffering from their disease.

My family has, surprisingly, been in good health, excluding all of the junk food and sometimes reckless actions they may have done, such as not managing their medication properly.

My family, on both sides, tends to live to a median of 80 years old, which is insane to think about, so it hurts even more when they pass away.

In 2021 my great aunt was suffering from end stage heart failure caused by her steroids from pervious battles with cancer and terrible salt consumption.

My grandma was tasked with taking care of her sister and driving back and forth to the hospital, which is a lot when you live an hour away from each other and you have your own health situation.

I dropped out of collage that year and made the decision to temporarily relocate to Detroit to be an acting caregiver.

She was able to do basic things like take care of her hygiene and do light cleaning, but driving, grocery shopping as well as just calling people for home Maintenace became very exhausting, so I would do those things for her.

Before she passed away we did this several month road trip where we traveled around the state of Michigan.

We went to my favorite place first, Mackinac Island, where they do not have any cars there. You can walk, take a horse or bike. So of course, we got fudge and all sorts of toys.

Then we went over the bridge to the Upper Peninsula, and went to Whitefish point, pictured rocks and Tahquamenon falls. I even got to run into Lake Superior, which I don't recommend doing. I felt like my legs went numb in an instant.

We then traveled to Petosky, Traverse city as well as Sleeping Bear Dunes. Which I hiked about half a mile before turning back. Then I had a stern talking to about how she was going to call the police because I was gone for so long. Then I counteracted with, well why couldn't you have called me? That ended the conversation pretty fast.

I also have some pictures she tried to take of me with my smartphone, and you can imagine how those turned out.

In the springtime we went to Holland Michigan for the tulip festival.

That was one of the coolest things I have seen, but moving a metal wheelchair in the dirt was something I learned how to become an expert in.

That's a very small snippet of thing we did together, though obviously I wish I had more time with her. I'm sure she would agree.

She never had children, so I felt like I was the daughter she never had, and of course I treated her as such. She spoiled me rotten with ice cream and constant dinner nights.

She taught me to always eat dessert first and to never feel guilty for your values.

I go by that now, so ice cream usually comes before dinner, my fiancé doesn't get it but he accepts that's who I am.

I am sad to know that she'll never see me graduate collage or get married. Though I know for a fact that she would approve of my engagement ring being that she was a huge nerd for gems.

I took her minivan about a year later being that the car I shared with my brother was becoming very unreliable. That was the car I drove around the state with.

You can imagine how distraught I felt when I got my car totalled due to a distracted driver rearending me in one lane traffic.

Though I know she'll be with me always, in every adventure and in every car.

I do have her engagement rings, while my grandma has her bands.

Moral of the story is, write your grandparents a letter, or call them every once in a while. If you have the ability, make some trips out there, have dinner with them

You just never know when you will no longer be able to.

Hug your mum, tell people you love them, cook with them.

I will always talk to her picture and let her know what's going on. I am not religious, but I know if she heard me that she would be proud or give me words of encouragement.

Be kind to yourself and others.

-Uggledamen

Hello,

Some medical information about me is that I have a jaw that pops in and out of its socket. I have dealt with this for about seven years now.

Recently I have been getting facial swelling and neck tension where I was having trouble swallowing drinks and food.

I ended up losing a lot of weight from that which is very dangerous when you already tend to not eat enough during the winter months.

What I was trying to do to soothe the neck pain and my jaw discomfort was to ice and heat it. Though I also don't have much temperature regulation, so I don't feel when to stop applying either heat or cool because I was in so much pain.

The reason I waited so long was because I personally knew so many people with similar disorders where I assumed I could handle it on my own until I had that issue.

Though obviously I needed medical intervention because of how severe it got for me, as well as my fear of developing arthritis or damaging my teeth as well.

I was recommended a mouth guard for my jaw clenching which does put a lot of pressure on my jaw muscles, though to be honest, as a twenty-three-year-old I do use my retainer to keep my teeth in check. My dentist/ orthodontist said I don’t need to, but I plan on using it until I crack it. Though getting an OTC mouth guard, which they suggested, should go on my to-do list.

I really suggest seeing a medical professional if you are having any issues if you have the ability to since things can change so fast.

I entered the exam room and they went over all the side effects with me. They were along the lines of local muscle soreness and having trouble opening your mouth wide.

I'm a certified yapper so I know this will be a challenge because my occupation involves a lot of talking. But at this point I will take anything to release the pain.

The doctor set me in this chair and prepared the needles outside the room, so I was waiting for a little bit.

When he came back, he gave a quick explanation of what I am expecting, I am not afraid of needles seeing that I donate blood and my brother is a diabetic, either way I wasn't thrilled.

He said they were going to inject three areas in my jaw joint. So, six pokes in total.

The first one didn't really hurt because I was pretty sore from dislocating my jaw all day, the rest were uncomfortable but not at all painful, though I've experienced much more painful shots.

I think it was mostly because of the fluid that they put in because it was inflamed afterwards for a while. Though my skin tends to inflame a lot easier than other people.

After the shots I was informed that it would take about two weeks for the effects of the Botox to come into effect. Which I am very anxious about because of the out of pocket being so high. I haven't received the invoice yet so hopefully BCBS will cover more than the pharmacy anticipated.

I had some soreness when eating afterwards, but nothing that I wasn't already used to at that point. So, my mum was kind and got me a salad and a coffee for me since I was having trouble.

There is a chance that the procedure will not show any effects, but that's a chance I'm willing to take because of how much pain I have been in. Though we'll see the results in a few weeks.

I will follow up with the ENT in a few months to see my progress. Hopefully it yields the results I want.

Disclaimer: I am by no means a medical doctor, this is just my experience with my medical issues and is not meant to treat or diagnose anyone. If you are experiencing any medical issues, please consult a licensed medical professional for any treatment.

-Uggledamen