Hello,

I am well aware that work comes with stress, but here's the thing. I am going to talk about the stress of feeling that you have to fit in with everyone else.

I am used to being the youngest at my job, some of my older coworkers have been in the industry for years, decades even. I have little experience because I have never been taught on how to do the fundamentals when I started, which was the fault of many incompetent managers unfortunately. Luckily for me and my amazing genetics, I look a lot younger or my age, depending on who you ask. Blessed by my filipino and a fortified skincare routine that my mother taught me. So, the people I come into contact with are very kind usually. I have been in this industry for a little over two years, which is a lot of experience for someone my age, I am proud of it.

Though fitting in has been very difficult for me. It's not that I am mean or purposely difficult but I, like most people, hate confrontation so I try to mold myself to fit what others are like. I have a lot of coworkers who are very irritable and can be very rude to each other. You can classify one as having anger issues as well. Not a front of house kind of person.

Due to this I have been getting more irritable and started swearing. I am not typically like that but I want to be liked by my superiors. Other coworkers I am with don't mold with the dominant personalities, this can cause people to clash, and people can get excluded and ostracized. I have learned this early with figuring out how to conform to what is seen as acceptable with the crowd. This isn't inherently bad, but it doesn't help my imposter syndrome. I interpret this as being in a survival state. In a way I have formed a separate "work personality" though there are parts of me who come out. Though I usually am like that towards clients. Especially millennials and my generation (gen z) appreciate my low tolerance for bad fashion and sales tactics. Though the people I work best with tend to be LGBT and neurodivergent, which I respect and enjoy being around.

Workplace cliques have been something I have always witnessed throughout my employed life. Like even my first job at a cafeteria the full-time employees would "adopt" a student employee in a way, like a mentor. I was adopted by a person who was seen as irritable and mean, she was just misunderstood with grief to my understanding. She was nice to me because I talked to her and was a decent person, you never know what someone is going through. I am happy to see that she is doing well.

My last job everyone had a person they'd buddy up to as well. I was lucky to buddy up with my managers because we all had similar personalities. I never felt like an outsider or fake, but I worked with about eight to six others, depending on the turnover and mass quitting.

So finding that one person to be with has been useful. Though I constantly feel like there's a knot in my lower abdomen. Not sure if I should see a doctor about that though it seems like it calms down whenever I talk to my mum. I love her so much and I guess I relax my body when I talk to her. So, it has been way more difficult when I have been living without her. I feel like I can fully be my unapologetic self around her.

I guess it's because I feel like she can't get rid of me because I am her child. Though I need to realize that if I do not fit with someone that's okay, even if I have known them for a long time or work with them.

I am very prone to being overly empathetic with people and that's not healthy I am aware. It just puts a burden on me. Like I told my mum that certain issues she needs to talk to a mental health professional about. I needed that boundary or I knew our relationship would be too close to being friends. Which we do confide in each other, but I don't need to know everything.

I have been told that I'm kind, empathetic, a little too introspective, creative and smart. Though I am doubting the last one. I know I can be very demanding too and unprofessional. Mostly calling my manager bruh or dude, though I haven't been corrected so I guess he's okay with that. If I act too serious, I know I'd just be making my health worse.

I just wish I was more carefree like some of my friends. I tend to box myself in and want to safe. I wish I didn't dwell on the future too much seeing that AI is going to take over jobs in my degree. I wonder how my coworkers manage the dread of having mortgages, car loans and student loan debt in a job that doesn't require any degree. Though it might come out and anger.

I plan on trying to relax and take things as they come. After all nothing is permanent fortunately and unfortunately. I learned that after losing a lot of friends. Though I would rather live past that.

Maybe I should see a doctor for that.

Side note I am at Starbucks writing this and I saw a Cyber Truck and physically gagged.

Well, if anyone is reading this. Please don't stress about how other people see you. It physically hurts you in the long run. Everyone isn't going to fit you and you aren't going to fit everyone. Just be kind and you'll be fine.

-Uggledamen

Hello,

I have been caught up in a bit of research and keeping an eye on the internet as well.

Starbucks released a "barista bear" which is a glass cup with a green lid meant exclusively for iced drinks. I think it's cute but as someone in marketing I can see through the fasade.

I went after class on november 6th to see if the one closest to me had the hello kitty mug with a silicone lid since my mum really wanted it. I have so many mugs and cups that my fiancé is frustrated lol. Luckily the people at the two universities surrounding that location were not rushing to shop, they are most likely more concerned with midterms.

I knew that people who collect these drinking vessels would line up hours before opening for this glass, I saw on my Facebook that a lot of places sold out on the hello kitty merchandise at about seven in the morning. I went at around eleven thirty so I thought that was interesting. Though I don't live in a big city and the universities around me are all very manageable size wise. Plus, my collage has a "proudly brews Starbucks" cafe, not affiliated but can use the imagery.

I just guess I don't get excited for limited edition things anymore because of knowing everything is limited.

Not saying I don't get myself limited edition things. I just got my pink name plate RoadID that was on discount. I wanted to check the quality. By the way it is really good quality and I plan on ordering bland colors for the cyclists in my life. Though you do need to realize that chasing limited edition things isn't worthwhile in the long run.

Though Starbucks released their bear cup in severely limited quantities and people blamed employees for buying them before they go on sale. Though this was not the case. They had to wait in line like the rest of consumers and had to get into the same fist fights. That is insane that people are throwing hands for a luxury, it's not necessity. Starbucks had two to three cups for sale to make a artificial scarcity to inflate the resale value. They released a statement saying they will release more in December. I think the hype will die out by then.

I've already seen people "retiring" their Labubu's and that frusturates me, I have one, but it's from one of my ex coworkers. I ended up getting the lucky one from the bring the energy series, so she sits in the door of my driver's side seat for me to hold when I get anxious. Yes, I love her but I wouldn't have gotten one on my own, or I'd wait until they end up on poshmark for less than $10.

I just think that instead of chasing the limited edition hype, that everyone should get things they can afford and will use. Or there will be more in the trash, unfortunately.

I remember that I got a Brita Filter bottle for my birthday from my dad, and I was obsessed with it. It was purple and had snowflakes on it. I was doing flight lessons with my brother in a little Civil Air Patrol Cessna and I was sitting in the back seat. We landed in the airport and I opened the door to get out and dropped it shattering the lid. I was so upset that my dad wrote to Brita and they sent me a whole new unit. That gave it a huge memory for me. Though I don't use it anymore since I like the double walled stuff, but I always find it funny.

So, try to thrift when you can, trade with friends and enjoy the things you already have.

And for God's sake, don't fight your neighbor for a bear shaped glass.

-UggleDamen

Hello,

I have always been interested in nautical things, decorations, tools, the vibes. I've lived in the great lakes region my entire life and have visited the Atlantic ocean in New England. I've always loved watching people bring in the lobsters and the cold water splashing on your face.

I have decorated my childhood bedroom in cheap decorations with anchors and seashells on it. Though with cheap mass-produced decorations they fell apart. The majority has been disposed now since they were unfixable. Then my decorations became various styles that I have been gifted from friends and family.

I feel homesick from Cape Cod, I have never lived there personally but I've camped in Hyannis and P-town several times and it's always felt like a slow existence. No stress, lots of good food and art galleries. Several older people who always welcomed visitors. Going to the beach and looking for hermit crabs and flipping over stuck horseshoe crabs. Picking up liter along the sand, which is something I grew up doing at lake Erie.

Don't forget eating ice cream nonstop. it's pretty important.

We would also go to the L.L. Bean headquarters in Maine as well. We call it our pilgrimage since we have been doing it every three years or so. We always go to replace my dad's backpack since he uses it for his morning commute on bicycle as well as skiing and whatever else. So it's important for us to invest in a rugged product. I also usually get some sort of outdoor thing. Two years ago I got my first Boat n' Tote since I "borrowed" mum's for camping. They hold canned foods better than my other reusable bags. Mine has my name on it. Then, for Christmas my fiancée got me one that says wifie on it. Perfect for traveling.

Then I would go to Bar Harbour and walk around, go to Del Sol and look at the colour changing clothes and hair accessories. It's become a common place we go for tourist things. I usually get some nail polish, though it doesn't work as well as I was hoping.

When I went with my dad last, we went kayaking and saw a bunch of harbour seals, though we made sure to keep our distance.

I love the sound of the water, though we went in the early summertime which was rainy season. Though when we did get sun it was awesome.

I lost my Pj's so I had to get some at Lazy Zone, they were super comfortable and very touristy. Though when tenting I rather wear sweatpants or yoga pants since they are warmer than pj's. I learned my lesson after wearing cheap Christmas pj pants which were actively thinning which didn't offer much protection.

I would borrow books from the free libraries and return them at random ones I would find along the way. Then write reviews on Likewise.

I want to live everyday like I am on vacation, which is why I love decorating, though I am trying to get decorations from artisans and thrift stores since they tend to hold up longer. They also hold more meaning than junk from Homegoods or Marshalls.

I inherited a lot of decorations from my Great Aunt like jade statues from Alaska and a glass clock which has been painted.

We also have a sturdy metal hook from his grandmother that is holding my car keys right now. It is in the shape of a light house, and my dad found a barometer that was made in East Germany at a estate sale which makes me very happy.

Now to find a place to hang them up.

I hope to go back to New England soon, but I have other places in the US to visit. Plus going to England and Scotland changed my plans. Which is welcome.

-Uggledamen

Hello,

Moving has been pretty stressful for me. Most likely because I have a lot of things. So here's a list of things I have learned so far.

1. Scan any important documents. This includes taxes, insurance, sentimental letters and school notes.

2. Go through your closet and declutter anything that doesn't fit, is ratty, or doesn't spark joy. I brought too many things that I forgot about, they will be in my car until I take it to the donation center.

3. Use up any and all small toiltree's that you have for traveling. Most of mine are expired and I don't remember how old they are. I have tossed any expired acne products since I haven't had acne since I was 14. I am currently using up my shampoo, conditioner, tooth paste and small floss.

I am pretty sure that because of COVID most hotels stopped leaving free samples since having the bulk bottles is cheaper and easier for staff to replace. I find it more convenient although not all hotels have lotion which can be frusturating.

4. Old hobbys In 2015 I bought myself a Instafilm camera since it was the fad at the time and I don't really use it as much as I was hoping. First off it was because the film keeps getting jammed and I would keep having to go into a dark room to fix it so I could maybe preserve the film. I also just don't carry it with me since it's bulky and my phone is always on me.

side note: My mum was very generous and bought me the Pixel 9 pro, the new phone at the time since my refurbished Pixel 6a had been severely damaged due to my car accident. The camera is awesome, so I use that a ton. Also, no this is my first new phone, every phone I had previously has been either my parents old one or a refurbished/ used one from Swappa, though buying used phones every 2-3 years costs about the same as a brand new phone every six years.

5. You are not going to be able to find a "home" for everything immediately.

During my minimalist phase I was told that everything needs a purpose and that I need to use everything. Though that is often not the case with most things. We own a crockpot and a immersion blender and an abundance of stationary and pens that I most likely will not go through completely until I am fifty. No, I do not plan on decluttering these things. Why? I like all of them, and I am using everything one at a time. Stationary is a disposable thing. I write letters to my grandma, grandma in law and a friend. It makes me and them happy. I also share stickers with my friend in the mail which has been one of my favorite things to do.

6. Managing the overwhelm I am very overstimulated, too many thoughts. Homework, studying, work, decluttering and grocery shopping. I don't often get downtime, but I am learning step by step how to manage my stress.

These are not all the things I have learned. I might update this list as the weeks go on, but I have so much anxiety that it makes me very depressed. I am very frustrated. Maybe this will help someone, but most likely I will reread this on my next eventual move. Thank you.

- Uggledamen

Hello,

I just moved to my first apartment, not counting living in a dorm room of course. It has been one of the most exciting and stressful times in my life.

So, first packing. I have a lot of clothes and plushies, I mean a lot. I can easily take up multiple closets.

I had packed mostly everything and relocated it into my two-bedroom apartment which I share with my fiancé and our newly adopted cats. Though I have left plenty of space for him though he has half the number of things as I have.

I do have a bin in the closet for me specifically to set aside things to get rid of in order for me to keep track of things. I swap clothes with a friend often, so it keeps me generally at the same number of items while changing up things. He has never said that I have too many things, so this is all my idea which I have been working on for the past three years.

The first few nights Simba has been crying and messing around with the blinds, which has triggered my panic attacks and frustrated me, though she is getting a lot better. Kimba and I have been becoming good friends, she is learning to be comfortable with being picked up. It has been difficult being away from Beck, my childhood pet as well as Chessie and Nessie who my parents and I adopted from a patient from my old job.

We set up a study room, and we have the Xbox 360 and his laptop and my desktop all set up in there. He bought me a standing desk on Prime Day so I could have somewhere to keep everything. I've always wanted one since my brother built me my desktop, so it has really worked out. I don't have a desk chair, but if I really needed one, I could just borrow his.

In our living room we have a hammock stand which can hold two people in it along with a table to eat at. His grandparents are giving us their old love seat so eventually that will be in our living room as well. I don't plan on having a TV in there just because I like just reading or we could watch something on our laptops.

I don't usually watch TV but I just got Crunchyroll premium so I will most likely be watching Demon Slayer after my friend took me to see the new movie.

We have been cooking a lot together just because it's cheap and that I like going to Aldi's (Aldi's nutz) for seasonal foods as well as my mum and I's trek to Cleveland to go to Trader Joe's. Which we just went to in order to get some Pumpkin ravioli, spicy chai tea latte mix and the Halloween mini tote bags which I am most likely just going to keep with my bag collection.

It's very relaxing there since I don't have everything crammed into my bedroom and that we have spots for everything, like toiletries and snacks. I am better able to catalog everything, but a few things have gone missing which has been mildly frusturating, but it's replaceable things so it's not a huge deal.

I hope him and I will continue to have tons of fun, I already feel more relaxed, though we have too many tiny hotel soaps which they stopped giving out because they have replaced those with the big bottles that are locked or dispensers. So that just tells you how old this stuff is. So the plan is using up all that before going into the big bottles we have.

I'll give more updates on how we're settling, luckily my brother and best friend being software majors they have been very helpful setting everything up.

I am just a business student who eats crayons.

-Uggledamen