Hello,

Bullying should never be tolerated whether that is in school or work.

I am very exhausted, it feels like I have to hold my breath no matter where I go. Like I was told that in highschool I would find my people, in collage I will be accepted, in work I would be a favorite.

I was excluded in social activities since I started school, I was always the one chosen last, the one that would never be clapped for at the end of a presentation or invited to birthday parties.

This forever shaped me. I thought, something has to be wrong with me, am I not white enough, should I dye my hair, should I wear different clothes.

I hit puberty at the age of nine and looked older than everyone else and had a large chest compared to the others and I felt insecure about being picked on by teacher when wearing age-appropriate clothes because my chest showed and so I wore very baggy clothes to hide it.

In middle school I looked my age, and I would always hangout with my teachers because people spread rumors about me and excluded me at lunch. I would eat my lunch in the classroom.

In high school I was excluded again and would hide in different rooms and have anxiety attacks because I was so afraid of being noticed because then someone would tell other people about me.

In freshman year of collage someone told my friend group that I was sexually permicuous because her crush liked me more than her.

That extended to my work environment, and I dropped out of collage because I didn't feel comfortable being around people all the time. Which was the best decision I have ever made at the time.

This isn't supposed to be a sob story or feel bad for me. But when my professor wrung me out in class because I accidentally put something wrong in my calculator. I just snapped. When will it end, when will I finally be safe.

I literally don't know what to do. I want to isolate myself because I feel like this is never going to end. I only feel safe with my fiancé.

I wish people could be more understanding and care about other people.

I understand that they don't know I have severe depression and am in physical pain from my mental state. But, as a instructor you should very well understand that there's a chance that you could really push someone over the edge.

My calculus professor was so kind and understanding and I got a ton of stuff wrong, but I passed with a A- because I participated. And for that he gave me hope.

I don't know, maybe it's tough teaching but with the mounting experiences of knowing I will never be enough in society makes me want to withdraw from society as a whole.

Hopefully that will change but take this as a warning before you harass a service employee or make fun of someone's personal style or behavior.

We as social animals are fragile and need care.

-Uggledamen