Hello,

Lately I haven't been in the best emotional state, though I am fortunate to have a great support system with my parents, in-laws, Fiancé, and medical doctors.

Though I have been learning to live my life a little bit more for myself, so I have been getting a lot of "sweet treats".

A sweet treat or little treat is usually some sort of coffee or dessert that you get yourself as a reward for doing something difficult.

For me, depression can really drag me under. I often will get an all or nothing type mindset which skews towards the most negative thing. This can make it really difficult to do simple things like getting out of bed, cleaning up after myself and even studying.

Lately to motivate myself I have been getting treats to have something to look forward to.

A lot of people on the internet tend to bully people who do this type of thing, because of it being a "waste of money" or can "escalate into more expensive purchases".

This can be true, but for some people, like me, it makes us have something small to look forward to. I don't typically spend a lot on material items or take out coffee, but once in a while I do because it makes me realize that life isn't all bad.

My depression can make things very intense and feels like a ball and chain attached to my ankle. It also makes me not be able to see colors well and slows my cognitive abilities. It makes me unable to comprehend something that is given to me, like a math problem, I need to look over it and I can't answer a question about it immediately. Which frusturates my professors since I get things wrong a lot more than when I am high functioning.

Though, when I get my apartment, I will hopefully have a coffee bar so we can make our own coffee instead of going out, but for now it gives me something to look forward to.

Life has been intense with the loss of my grandmother in law who was important to me, though I didn't get much of an opportunity to know her personally. It caused my depression to become unmanageable, though I did make a plan with my doctor to build myself some stability by making a schedule of when to study, downtime and work.

For now, the sweet treat has made me feel better. Though it doesn't mask my depression for long, I will at least have something to look forward to next week as well.

If you have any symptoms of depression and or thoughts of self-harm please text or call 988, the US suicide hotline, they are amazing over there and have helped me time after time.

-Uggledamen

side note: We have adopted his grandmother's cats as well, their names are Kimba and Simba. They are currently adjusting to their new surroundings.